I left Kentucky for the holidays with half of my chemo behind me. I was hoping to unleash one more attack on my cancer before bringing in the New Year, but the delay around Thanksgiving didn't give my body enough time to recover and my white blood cell counts were too low. I have had a wonderful visit with my family and friends while in Texas. This has given me time to heal unencumbered from ports and PICC lines. The ironic part is that it has also given the cancer time to rebound. When I feel good, so does the cancer.
So I find myself anxious to get back to the battle. The kids and I leave tomorrow to head home. I will be ready for the fight to start early Monday with surgery to place a new port through the other side of my chest then a dash over to OHC to get chemo. Let's get this rolling!
Starting off a new year, I choose not to reflect upon the fears and tears surrounding my diagnosis. Instead, I'll recall the good times that comfort me with warm, fond memories. To start with, the day I was officially diagnosed on October 4, 2013, my neighborhood friends rallied with me for an epic cancer party. I see joy and love and good times when I remember that day.
The day I went in for my first breast MRI, Krista had prepared me for the logistics which were basically me laying face down fully exposed with my ta-tas hangin' through a frame, arms overhead Superman style. What I was not prepared for was the music that came on the radio through my headphones once they pushed me into the machine. Justin Timberlake's "I'm Bringing Sexy Back" sent me into fits of laughter 'cause lawd knows I was feeling hot and sexy just then. The technicians thought I'd gone cuckoo in the hole. That was an unexpected fun memory.
Now who can forget the shave day festivities and car party? I've already written about that day on my blog so I won't rehash, but damn that was a good day, too.
There have been so many other fond moments as I pass in and out of people's lives while cuing up for treatments. There are so many wonderful doctors, nurses, patients and patient supporters...so many snippets of illuminating conversations while waiting for the next chance to further the fight.
I have a few additional thoughts to share with you. It appears Doctor Flora and his practice are not off the financial hook with the new drug I am taking. I don't think the manufacturer is actually covering their side of the cost. No one really knows for sure how it will all play out once they argue their case with the insurance company, but I'd like everyone to keep this courageous doctor in your thoughts and prayers. He is my hero and my champion.
I've learned the power of a few words. All those messages of support I've received, no matter how succinct, give me strength each day. I thank you for all your encouragement and support. This is one facet of the human spirit I just can't get enough of.
Something we have all learned through my days of walking this earth as a bald lady, and I'm amazed at how quickly the kids got it: Accept those who look different and accept the differences in ourselves. We never know what battles others are facing and we can only control our reaction to them and how others perceive the differences in us. I don't feel eyes on me when I'm out and about because I've embraced my baldness and it doesn't bother me and my loved ones. It's a sign that the fight is underway and the treatments are working the way they are supposed to. Yes, being bald in the winter is dadgum cold, but what better way to learn to walk in others shoes, make them mine, and learn from the experience.
Life isn't simple and I'm not asking it to be. I've feasted, I've loved, I've laughed, I've hugged, and I've healed. Now it's time to get my ROAR on and finish this fight. Happy New Year all!
Hmmmm...I see now that my comment on this one never went through. I must have lost phone service before it finished posting (we were on the ferry ride from hell from Lanai back to Maui when I read this). I had more to say back then that I no longer remember, but for now I just wanted to say that I LOVE the pictures on this post. And it was wonderful to get to sneak in a few hours with you while you were home at Christmas. Love you!
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