As some of you may know, I postponed my third round of chemo until after the Thanksgiving holiday so my family could go out of town to enjoy some time away with our dear friends. It was a wonderful getaway, and we all had the best time with the Krallman and Bloom families! I'll post a few pics at the end of this post that I also put on Facebook.
I was due to have my chemo this past Monday but not all is going as planned right now. A few days before we were due to leave for Lake Cumberland for Thanksgiving, my port incision popped open again and my port became infected. I was able to get in to see a doctor before I left who put me on hefty antibiotics to take care of the infection. He wasn't hopeful they'd be able to save my port. I followed up with him again Monday morning and he was happy that the infection seemed to be taken care of and that the port would be fine. I was very glad to hear that and ran over to OHC to get my chemo right away.
The nurses at OHC took one look at my port and decided they were not going to use it. First, it looked awful. Second, they were afraid if there was still infection present, it would push through into my blood stream when they accessed my port. Instead, they attempted to go through a vein in my arm to administer my chemotherapy. They attempted this six times each unsuccessfully. On the fourth attempt, one of the four nurses who tried struck a nerve in my arm which made it feel like my arm was on fire and my body started shaking uncontrollably. Not to give up, I let them keep trying. They attempted two more times and never hit a vein.
The frustrating part is that this was all for naught. After all the sticking, one of the nurses informed me that one of my chemotherapy drugs had not been approved by my insurance so they would not be able to treat me at that time anyway.
I have to admit, this experience did bring me down. I was feeling so wonderful and strong and ready to deal this cancer its next blow. I had psyched myself up for this round and made sure everything at home was taken care of so life would go as smoothly as possible on the upcoming days when I was not feeling well. But, as the saying goes, "the best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray." I work hard to maintain a positive attitude and have not shed a tear of fear or sorrow since early on in my diagnosis. I never ask, "Why me?" but instead counter with "Why not me?" This day, however, I let the frustration get to me and I cried.
Tuesday, I woke up refreshed and back in the proper frame of mind. I let the previous day live in my past and felt ready to move forward no matter what this week may hold. My chemo schedule was up in the air at this point and back out of my control, so I made peace with that.
This morning, I went to see Dr. Heidi Murley who installed my port. It took her almost no time to decide that my port had to come out. She said she hadn't lost a port in 10 years, but I'm "the one" to break the streak. I seem to find a way to end up on the wrong end of the odds (ex. being struck by lighting, breast cancer for no apparent reason, etc.). I guess I gravitate to being special in that way.
So, here's my new game plan, folks. Tomorrow morning very early, I will have my port removed. Then I will go to radiology and have a PICC line placed in my upper arm that will stay with me until after the holidays. My chemo will be administered through the PICC line for my next two rounds. After the holidays, a new port will be installed through the other side of my chest and we will hope this one will carry me through the rest of my 12-month treatment. I will get my third round of chemo on Friday. I am hoping the nasty freezing rain and snow holds off so I can safely get to my treatment. I am thankful to have a plan in place. I will be one week behind punching this cancer where it counts, but let's hope it will be none less effective!
Speaking of being thankful, I did not have a chance to write about everything I am thankful for last week. There is so much to be thankful for and so many people to thank that I could write a novel. Just know that I am absolutely appreciative of everyone who has rallied to the aid of me and my family. It means so much more that you will ever know. The one person I cannot tell thank you to is one who has given so much. My brother-in-law, Tommie (Scott's only brother) sadly passed away this year. As some of you may know, he battled a nameless illness for so many years and fought so bravely. I know how important it was for me to put a name with the disease I was fighting. I can only imagine how frustrating it was for Tommie to never know exactly what was attacking his body. This makes him all the more brave in my eyes. He took it all in stride and was always happy and made sure everyone always had a great time when he was around. My kids loved him as much as he loved them in return. We all miss him so very much. The gift Tommie gave us when he passed was that of financial peace of mind during my battle with breast cancer. I know the last thing he would want to spend more of his money on is medical bills, but I hope he doesn't mind that the portion of his estate left to our family is being used to give me a shot at some more time on this earth to be here for Katie, Maddie and Brody. I know if he were here, he would be rallying right next to me and we would have lots of talks about the ups and downs of handling illness. I love him and miss him each day. My kids lost their grandpa Slansky too early and should have had much more time with their beloved Uncle Tommie as well.
Sorry to take this post to the sad side, but on the upswing, I know when my next battle begins and I am ready for it. Bring it on!
I was due to have my chemo this past Monday but not all is going as planned right now. A few days before we were due to leave for Lake Cumberland for Thanksgiving, my port incision popped open again and my port became infected. I was able to get in to see a doctor before I left who put me on hefty antibiotics to take care of the infection. He wasn't hopeful they'd be able to save my port. I followed up with him again Monday morning and he was happy that the infection seemed to be taken care of and that the port would be fine. I was very glad to hear that and ran over to OHC to get my chemo right away.
The nurses at OHC took one look at my port and decided they were not going to use it. First, it looked awful. Second, they were afraid if there was still infection present, it would push through into my blood stream when they accessed my port. Instead, they attempted to go through a vein in my arm to administer my chemotherapy. They attempted this six times each unsuccessfully. On the fourth attempt, one of the four nurses who tried struck a nerve in my arm which made it feel like my arm was on fire and my body started shaking uncontrollably. Not to give up, I let them keep trying. They attempted two more times and never hit a vein.
The frustrating part is that this was all for naught. After all the sticking, one of the nurses informed me that one of my chemotherapy drugs had not been approved by my insurance so they would not be able to treat me at that time anyway.
I have to admit, this experience did bring me down. I was feeling so wonderful and strong and ready to deal this cancer its next blow. I had psyched myself up for this round and made sure everything at home was taken care of so life would go as smoothly as possible on the upcoming days when I was not feeling well. But, as the saying goes, "the best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray." I work hard to maintain a positive attitude and have not shed a tear of fear or sorrow since early on in my diagnosis. I never ask, "Why me?" but instead counter with "Why not me?" This day, however, I let the frustration get to me and I cried.
Tuesday, I woke up refreshed and back in the proper frame of mind. I let the previous day live in my past and felt ready to move forward no matter what this week may hold. My chemo schedule was up in the air at this point and back out of my control, so I made peace with that.
This morning, I went to see Dr. Heidi Murley who installed my port. It took her almost no time to decide that my port had to come out. She said she hadn't lost a port in 10 years, but I'm "the one" to break the streak. I seem to find a way to end up on the wrong end of the odds (ex. being struck by lighting, breast cancer for no apparent reason, etc.). I guess I gravitate to being special in that way.
So, here's my new game plan, folks. Tomorrow morning very early, I will have my port removed. Then I will go to radiology and have a PICC line placed in my upper arm that will stay with me until after the holidays. My chemo will be administered through the PICC line for my next two rounds. After the holidays, a new port will be installed through the other side of my chest and we will hope this one will carry me through the rest of my 12-month treatment. I will get my third round of chemo on Friday. I am hoping the nasty freezing rain and snow holds off so I can safely get to my treatment. I am thankful to have a plan in place. I will be one week behind punching this cancer where it counts, but let's hope it will be none less effective!
Speaking of being thankful, I did not have a chance to write about everything I am thankful for last week. There is so much to be thankful for and so many people to thank that I could write a novel. Just know that I am absolutely appreciative of everyone who has rallied to the aid of me and my family. It means so much more that you will ever know. The one person I cannot tell thank you to is one who has given so much. My brother-in-law, Tommie (Scott's only brother) sadly passed away this year. As some of you may know, he battled a nameless illness for so many years and fought so bravely. I know how important it was for me to put a name with the disease I was fighting. I can only imagine how frustrating it was for Tommie to never know exactly what was attacking his body. This makes him all the more brave in my eyes. He took it all in stride and was always happy and made sure everyone always had a great time when he was around. My kids loved him as much as he loved them in return. We all miss him so very much. The gift Tommie gave us when he passed was that of financial peace of mind during my battle with breast cancer. I know the last thing he would want to spend more of his money on is medical bills, but I hope he doesn't mind that the portion of his estate left to our family is being used to give me a shot at some more time on this earth to be here for Katie, Maddie and Brody. I know if he were here, he would be rallying right next to me and we would have lots of talks about the ups and downs of handling illness. I love him and miss him each day. My kids lost their grandpa Slansky too early and should have had much more time with their beloved Uncle Tommie as well.
Sorry to take this post to the sad side, but on the upswing, I know when my next battle begins and I am ready for it. Bring it on!
 |
| The kiddos had so much fun! |
 |
| Kelly Bloom, me, Krista Krallman |
 |
| Our family on Thanksgiving |
You are special in so many positive ways, too, my friend. I continue to admire you more than I can describe. Your ability to put the negative behind and move forward with a positive attitude is inspiring. And Tommie would be happy to know he's helping you in your most important fight. He's walking this path with you, holding your hand every step of the way. Hugs and love to you. I'm ready for whatever call to action you have for me to assist you as well.
ReplyDeleteHeidi, all you friends are with you for the fight. Keep the chin up and don't be afraid to ask for help. That is what friends and family are for, use us! I too believe Tommie is fighting for you from above. He was the best friend anyone could have. Yes, he went though hell, but was always upbeat and smiling. No matter what pain or issues he had he was always there to help, never backing off. The world needs more Tommie and Heidi's and it would be a better place.
ReplyDeleteYou're allowed lows now and then!! And it makes the ups that much better. Your medical team is top notch and I'm glad they aren't taking any chances with that port. Your loved ones on earth and in heaven pray for you every day. Let me hear you Roar!!!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHeidi, if there is a bigger fighter that you out there, I don't want to meet em. You are a very strong person and have a determination that is great. There is going to be many a down day, but always remember that a few tears will never hurt anybody and a bunch doesn't damage a thing.You will kick cancers butt. Tommie is missed by quite a few of us and I still think and are reminded of him everyday. He really did love your kids. I pray for you everyday along with alot of others. Stay strong and keep the faith!